D'Arcy from Winnipeg
Solution Architecture, Business & Entrepreneurship, Microsoft, and Adoption

Mother’s Day - To The Forgotten Moms…

Sunday, May 13, 2012 9:53 AM

Today is a day to celebrate mother’s everywhere. There will be breakfasts cooked, cards opened, gifts given, brunches and dinners shared. There will be church services where mothers are given flowers from their children and sermons will talk of the blessings mothers are. People who aren’t even related will wish others who are mothers a “Happy Mother’s Day”. And all of this will go on without any consideration or thought to the forgotten mothers in our midst.

For many, mother’s day (and father’s day) isn’t a celebration. It’s a reminder. A reminder of what could have been. I reminder of hope lost, of dreams shattered, of “what if’s”.

***

It’s their first ultrasound. They wait with anticipation to see the little heartbeat on the monitor. Something is wrong though…the doctor furrows his brow. He points to where the fetus is attached, and then delivers words like a sledgehammer to the heart: There’s no heartbeat.

***

She cradles her baby in her arms, singing her a lullaby. There’s a knock on the door. It’s time. She hands her daughter to the social worker along with a bag filled with her toys and clothes. She kisses her daughters forehead and says goodbye, watching the social worker get into her car and drive off into the night. The adoption process had gone well and there was no warning signs. But she knew this was a possibility. 16 days ago her daughter was born, 14 days ago she was brought home, and 2 days ago the birth mother changed her mind and wanted her baby back.

***

The local high school is getting ready for graduation. Fundraisers are being organized, dresses are being ordered, and plans for parties are being made. She hears over coffee with friends how their kids are getting ready to leave high school and embark on the next phase of life at college. She hears them reminisce on various events of the last 4 years and how their kids have grown into fine young adults. They finish coffee, say goodbye, and she drives to the florist. Thirty minutes later she drives to the cemetery, placing the flowers on her son’s grave. 7 years later, it still feels like that first night when she got that horrible phone call.

***

So to those moms out there that don’t have a section at Hallmark devoted to them, to those moms who keep their pain hidden and tolerate Mother’s Day, to those moms that never got to meet their children or did for only a short amount of time, and especially to those moms that don’t feel that today applies to them:

This is your day to recognize the sacrifices you made, emotionally/physically/spiritually, in giving your heart to another human being. This is your day to acknowledge the care, nurturing, and love that you showered on your child, regardless of how long you had with them. That doesn’t make the pain and memories hurt any less, but please know that in the frenzy of Mother’s Day you are not forgotten.

You are a mother. This is your day. Happy Mother’s Day.




Feedback

# re: Mother’s Day - To The Forgotten Moms…

Thanks for the reminder. Well said. 5/15/2012 11:31 AM | Steve

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