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Variations of this list have appeared in many places over the years.  I saw my first one while attending the Army War College (the Carlisle Barracks one, not Ft. Leavenworth).  As the only Navy officer in a boisterous seminar of Army officers, I professed my lack of knowledge of Army ways early on.  My classmates turned to with gusto to educate me.  A list of this type was one of their tools. 

  • You are not Superman.
  • Keep it simple stupid.
  • Automatic weapons - aren’t
  • Recoilless weapons - aren’t
  • Suppressive fire - won’t
  • Incoming fire has the right of way.
  • If the enemy is in range, so are you.
  • Don’t look conspicuous, it draws fire.
  • If it’s stupid and it works, it ain’t stupid.
  • When in doubt, empty your magazine.
  • The easy way is always mined.
  • Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
  • Professionals are predictable; it’s the amateurs that are dangerous.
  • Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
  • Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
  • Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.
  • No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.
  • No inspection ready unit ever passed combat.
  • Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.
  • If your attack is going really well, it’s an ambush.
  • No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.
  • Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
  • The enemy diversion you are ignoring will turn out to be their main attack.
  • The only thing more accurate than enemy incoming fire is friendly incoming fire.
  • When you have secured the area, don’t forget to tell the enemy.
  • Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in, and you won’t be able to get out.
  • A sucking chest wound is nature’s way of telling you to slow down.
  • If you’re short of everything but the enemy, you’re in a combat zone.
  • The enemy invariably attacks on only two occasions - when you’re ready for them and when you’re not.
Posted on Saturday, May 28, 2005 10:38 AM Humor and Fun | Back to top

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